Are you scared to go up to a complete stranger and start talking to them? Are you filled with both elation and dread whenever you see a woman you find attractive; elation that she’s so pretty but also dread because she’s so pretty…
Let’s face it; talking to women can be hard! We all know they typically have their “shields” up whenever we approach them, and for us, it seems like an impossible feat to overcome unless we’re incredibly good looking or have tons of money.
It’s ok. Most guys in the world today will tell you that going up to and talking to a woman is one of the hardest things to do! I still remember the first time I tried to talk to a girl I didn’t know. I’m not even sure what I said to her was words rather than garbled noises.
It can be pretty intimidating for us. We invent all of these ridiculous ideas in our heads over what’s going to happen instead of using our rationality and knowing that nothing bad could happen just form simply talking to a girl, right? So why is it so hard to realize this and just man up?!?
For girls, it’s, for the most part, a type of a screening system. Many of them deal with dudes hitting on them constantly, so they need a quick way to filter out guys that just want a quick roll in the sack. You can’t blame them, now can you?
The best way to get around this shield is to talk to her when it’s not up, or at least when it’s not at full strength. So instead of going and talking to girls at bars and clubs, meet them in non-pickup places. Coffee shops, bookstores, heck even the supermarket are all ideal places to meet and talk to girls.
For us, she’s much more open and willing to chit-chat. For them, meeting at somewhere other than a designated pickup spot has an air of “destiny” and “spontaneity,” so they’re much more receptive to your advances.
I used to be where you are now. Like most single guys when I wanted to attract the charms of the female, I would frequently attend the mass tribal gatherings and display myself in rituals society proclaims as acceptable, indeed necessary to win the affections of a woman. In short, attending clubs and bars!
However, the problem with (and I’m pretty sure you’ve experienced this) meeting women in places like this, is one of quantity over quality. Clubs and bars will have tons of women on display, yet the chances of scoring the girl to tick all the yes boxes are pretty slim.
The fact is to meet someone you would love to spend time with when sober, requires a different more cunning, more in depth, more strategic approach.
To secure dates with the women you truly desire, first look at yourself. What things define you? What are your hobbies or interests?
Hobbies are a great way to meet new people. Imagine you enjoy painting or art in general, and take an evening class. Surely there are females that are interested in these things as well, and it’s likely that you’ll be able to meet a girl in this class that already holds at least one of your interests. Now that’s a great start!
Another way to meet women and find your next girlfriend without the fanfare and pressure is a bookstore. Even if you don’t like to read, the fact that you are perusing in a book store is certainly a positive and automatically puts you one-up in her “this dude’s alright” category, so to speak. Girls straight up love a smart guy who works to better themselves mentally and intellectually.
At any given time, on any given day, you can stroll into a coffee shop and witness hordes of women enjoying a latte and a muffin, while thumbing through the latest editions of Heat magazine or the National Enquirer. To find a more relaxed environment in which to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger would be virtually impossible. Be charming, friendly, and non-threatening and she may agree to drop her magazine to talk to you.
Lastly one of the best places where you can meet women is a library. For almost the same reasons as I mentioned about bookshops, they will gravitate towards you and find you intriguing because of your thirst for knowledge; this can also be applied to museums as well for the same reasons intellect reassures a woman.
So to sum up, if you wish to meet women of a different caliber to your usual singles bar or night club breed, consider where you are looking for them. Seriously. The type of girl you pick up is usually dependent on the circumstances and whereabouts of said pick up place.
So instead of getting yourself drunk enough that you don’t care, you’ve now learned the best places to meet women are non-typical places because it takes the pressure off both of you and keeps it fun. You’ll both enjoy it much more thoroughly, and you’ll learn how easy it easy to meet women away from the bars and clubs.
Meeting a woman in the earlier mentioned places also improves the probability of entering into a relationship with a girl of decent personality and an individual who can become a good mother someday. (if that’s what you want)
Alternatively, night club or bar girls, aka bar flies, don’t always have the most desirable traits. If you met the girl drunk, what’s to say that she’s not a true alcoholic with a lot of baggage?
Sure, I’ve met my fair share of great women at bars, but I’ve also dealt with the not-so-great ones as well. It’s not as likely that you’ll meet a total wreck of a woman at a bookstore. Try it and you shall see.
Nonetheless, when using your new found macking skills and are looking to meet new girls, it is crucial that you consider your advances. Women don’t like to be distracted. Just know to be nice with them and they’ll typically be nice right back to you. If for some reason they don’t care to be distracted, simply apologize and walk away. I know this is very cliché, but the truth is that there are indeed a lot of fish in the sea.
Keep working your game, and keep looking for the right girl in the right place. Give it enough time and effort and I guarantee you’ll meet the girl or boy of your dreams eventually. Don’t give up until you do!